Therapeutic.

May 17, 2010 at 6:20 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Holy moly, it has been a long time since I have blogged.  Truthfully, I just haven’t been inspired to bake anything or even do anything.  Things have been blah and the up-and-down weather hasn’t helped my mood.

Though I haven’t baked a single thing in weeks I decided I would blogged because of it’s cathartic natures.  There is something that has been on my mind for a long time and I need to express it in a forum that won’t judge or criticize so please (if anyone still reads this blog) be nice–I am sensitive right now.

As of late I have been searching for clothes because I have few things that fit me.  This is something I hate to do.  Clothes shopping and I do not get along.

I can’t handle the way clothes fit me and I definitely fall victim to “consumer beauty/body image” when faced with it.

Desperate not to die of heat exhaustion in the summer months (I don’t own a single pair of  shorts), I faced the most dreaded chore of shopping for clothes.  I ended up in the change room infuriated at my size.  I barely fit into a size 12.  That bothered me.

I know that I shouldn’t really care about sizes because it’s just a number but it is hard.  Before I had my second daughter I was significantly a smaller size and now everything has changed.

And I am mad.

I am not mad for the size I am but, rather, for letting sizes effect me so much.  At first, I started freaking out at the number and calculated that I would probably need to drop about 15-20 lbs if I ever wanted to be a size 8.

Then I realized that all I can do is just ignore the numbers and the ideal beauty image society places on women (or at least ignore it as best I can).

I am healthy and I am a size 12.  I will not strive to be a size 6 or 8 if it puts me in a position in which I will have to starve myself.  If a size 12 is considered plus size or on the boarder of plus size then so be it.

The best thing I can teach my daughters is to love the way they look.

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1 Comment »

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  1. I couldn’t agree more! You are fit, healthy and beautiful. If only I were a mother of two who could run a Scottish Mile ; )


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